August 4, 2012

I had a couple of doctor’s visits plus a fitting for compression garments but I was able to work most of the week.  I have lymphedema so I will have some physical therapy to try to combat any further issues. I worked hard at the exercises after surgery and I have great range of motion on the left side. However, so many lymph nodes were removed during my operation that fluid builds up in the surgery site areas and is quite painful. I swell. I will have to wear compression clothing to eliminate the swelling and the pain. My arm and hand will soon wear a compression sleeve and glove both daytime as well as nighttime and a compression camisole will cover my torso. I asked how long I would have to wear these and the answer was, “Probably the rest of your life”. Not exactly the answer I was hoping for but it is the unknown that I have the most difficulty dealing with, the unknown and my own fear. I have a new set of exercises to complete morning and night. Hopefully, we can re-route the fluid buildup to drain where it should.

I have been on antibiotics since surgery and that causes another set of problems. Battling cancer with chemo is rough but the side affects are even tougher. It is hard to keep my emotions in balance with each new infection that erupts. I have been weepy and shed many tears in the privacy of my own home.

Blessings did occur this week. A friend, Kay Dee Gilkey stopped by the office for a quick visit. She was unaware that I am undergoing treatment. Although the visit was brief, the hug was worth a million bucks. I treasured that. Thursday night my friend, Vicky took me out to dinner after work. The food tasted good (my taste buds are returning this week) however, the conversation and company was what I needed. She has re-surfaced in my life after years of absence and we picked up our friendship where we last left off. A music CD from Marcy arrived in the mail and the songs sooth me. My friend, Dolores from Yakima called and we had a wonderfully long telephone visit. Her husband, Tom is undergoing chemo treatments as well so we have much in common and a lot to share. I feel like I have not been much emotional support for my friends, Pam and Jack, Tom and Dolores and Sarah. These families are all battling cancer. Like me, they are fighting this disease with all they have. Though I cannot be with them physically and can and do pray for them often.

I miss my grandsons. It has been weeks since I have seen them. Maxton had his inoculation so I cannot be around him for 3 weeks and Ethan has been sick. As much as I miss them, I cannot risk getting sick with anything else. I am planning in September to get together as a family. I think the last time we were together was when I shaved my head. Ahhhh, only a few more weeks until September. I cannot wait.

One response »

  1. It’s okay to cry Nick – it can help you to relieve some of your anxiety ….I hope! I want to throw away my big girl panties and cry with you. I can’t tell you how much I hurt for you and wish I could take “something” from you to ease even a littl bit of pain that you have. I get so angry that even with medical technology and all the angles the doctor’s have to cure this, that you still have to endure and cope and sometimes the patience just isn’t there. The words, “We’re here for you ” is so easy to say, but also a strong message that we really mean it! Whenever I can, I’ll be here for you Nick. Our shoulders are for you to lean on…and also to cry on if you need to.
    Thank you for keeping me company the other night and great connversation!

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