I am half way through the rough treatment of chemo. I always have such mixed emotions; wanting to have the treatment just to get it over with and yet dreading the side effects. I have never tackled anything so physically challenging as chemo in my lifetime. With each treatment I have battled a separate infection. The doctor has suggested a long term antibiotic and I am not pleased with that.There are so many meds coursing through my body. It blows my mind how the body can process all of it. Once again my sister, Glenda has come to stay with me. Todd took me to chemo this time. Kristy and the boys surprised me later with lunch. Ethan and Lance crawled into the bed with me and we shared our lunch while the chemo dripped slowly into my port. I don’t know what I would do without my sister and my family. Each treatment she leaves her own home and comes to tend to my needs. The love we share is phenomenal. She tries so hard to fix food that is palatable to me but nothing really hits the spot. My face is full and quite round from the drugs but I have been able to maintain my weight this time. The salty taste has returned although not as bad as before. My teeth ache and once again I cannot sleep even with the sleeping pills. I will go to Paige’s home for a couple of days and allow my sister to return to her own house. I wonder how people without my support group manage to get through all of this.
July 4th was the last time Lolly was outdoors before he died. Our house stood on a hill and we had a magnificent view. We often would have our own fireworks display and half of Roswell could watch as we lit one big display after another. We recalled the times we set the hillside on fire and called “bucket brigade” to all who were present to man the shovels, hoses and buckets of water. We were prepared for fire and we extinguished plenty of them. From our advantage point on the hill we could see the surrounding towns fireworks and we didn’t have to deal with the crowds or traffic. The east patio was Lolly’s favorite place to sit and look out on the lush farm ground that lay below us. We lit citronella candles and stayed outside until he was too exhausted to sit any longer the last 4th of July he was with us. He did not want to go inside. We had one other 4th of July fireworks party after Lolly died but it wasn’t quite the same without him. I can never think of the 4th without memories of the “good times” upon the hill. I miss that place. Happy Independence Day, America.