Weary

This is harder than I imagined it would be. I am listless and weary. My stomach is in constant turmoil. I am not sleeping at night. I question if the meds are causing insomina since my eyes will only close for an hour at a time. My friend , Jack suggests I call the triage nurse. I do what he  has advised. The nurse schedules an appointment for me to come in and my daughter arrives the next morning to take me to MSTI. My blood pressure which is normally slightly elevated is down today indicating some dehydration. We discuss the reason/reasons why I may not be sleeping. I have gone off the pain meds because I am fearful of the many meds that my liver and kidneys have to flush. I am instructed to go back on the pain meds and not try to push through without them. I am taken back to the chemo room for fluids. My nurse, Denise asks how I am and tears spring to life in my eyes. She takes my hand and sits on the edge of my bed as the tears roll unchecked down my face. She asks if I believe in a higher power. I answer affirmatively. She continues to hold my hand for the longest time assuring me that I will get through the treatments and will emerge a stronger person than I was before. I am touched at how much time she gives me never letting go my hand as we share our faith with one another. I am given a bag of fluid and speak with a nurtritionist to see what I can do to combat come of the stomach distress.  I read Isaish 40:28-31 this morning. “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”                Although I am weary, God is not.