Round one begins



May 10, 2012

Anxious thoughts come to me.  In the darkness they invade my mind and I make a conscious effort to place them where they belong; at the feet of the Cross. I cannot let fear and anxious thoughts come against me. They come to defeat my hope.  From the first day the news of my cancer reached the ears of those who care about me cards containing well wishes and prayers have been sent. Only one day in over a month was the mailbox void of any cards.The shoe box that once housed them became too small because so many have been sent. I pull cards out and re-read the words people have written. I read the emails again and some blog comments. My heart soaks up the good wishes and prayers like a sponge. Their words quiet and comfort me.  Tomorrow my son will sit beside me as the cocktail of drugs; designed to attack my cancer cells is administered for the first time.  I know this portion of my journey will be difficult; both emotionally and physically. I remind myself; my entire family is being bathed in prayer.Now the real battle begins.


12 responses »

  1. We will be thinking and praying for you tomorrow and all the days of this journey. Big hugs and kisses to you!! 🙂

  2. I send you the comfort of a loved one’s arms around you, the encouragement to express yourself fully to release the fear and replace it with peace, and the reassurance that you will get through this . . . Hold on to the fact that you are well-equipped in this battle – by the One who made you and the ones who love and support you – we are many and mighty! Your spirit is strong, Nicki, and though it is weakened now, your body will heal and the strength will return. Much love to you!

  3. Nikki –
    You have been in my thoughts and prayers since I heard about the cancer. Today is another hurdle for you to jump – I know you will and with Grace. Love you, Val Dines

  4. Gramma Juanita received much comfort from Psalm 121. I know she truly thinned that page in her Bible…. My prayers are continual. Love you my friend….

  5. Nicki –

    I will be with you today in spirit. So many are praying for you throughout your journey, and I know that you will take some comfort in that. Today will be hard, but you are so strong, and I know that even though it will take a lot out of you, you are one tough cookie, and you will win this battle!! :o) God is watching over you, and you have angels at your side as you fight today and everyday, until you are healed completely.

    Hugs & Love, Holly

  6. Dearest Nicki–The cocktail of drugs will attack and destroy your Cancer and the Lord will hold you and heal you with love. My rosaries continue for you my friend and the light of the Lord shines on you always.



  7. So many thoughts come to mind from your words. You said, “my son will sit with me”, just as the Mother of Christ sat with her son at the cross. My all the prayers being said for you and your family today bring you the Peace that only our Heavenly Father can give in times of fear and stress. I too will continue my rosary for you with Ann as we proclaim the love of Christ for you.


  8. Thoughts, prayers, hugs…all sent to give you strength thru these times. And don’t forget the promise I made to you!!! There’s a Baskin Robbins in your future!! 🙂 Love you so much! M

  9. Nicki…I have all the faith in the world that you will conquer this – I wish we did not have to endure the bad with the good…it has always been without question the ingredient to the perfect ending. There has to be a balance. I know that you cannot succeed or accomplish this process without taking the detours to get to where you want to go! Your perserverance,faith, and the “four reasons” to fight will get you through this. I am reading your devotions everyday and HE is guiding all of us in the right direction to make you well and to put this all behind us.
    God Bless…I am here for you -please call me if you need anything – I make a mean “cocktail” other than th ones you are taking-so let me know when you’re ready!
    Love U

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